Sunday, November 2, 2008

Wanted:A Man

As some of you that know, I'm exploring the world of internet dating. Wow, I don't know if it's as hard for you straight guys as it is for gay people, but damn... There's so many nuances and caveats to every single aspect of the online dating world it's enough to make your brain explode. And no, I won't try to cover it all right now. I'll interrupt the flow of this blog in short, angry bursts from time to time begging for an answer to it all. So, don't be shy if you know something I don't.

Okay, first thing :

What to say in your personal ad ? What not to say ? You want to say enough but not too much, I've learned. Leave out some important detail and the reader thinks you're hiding something, put in too many details and the reader thinks you're long-winded and boring.

Don't even think about online dating without posting a photo. Yes, you need to post the pic with the ad. Just posting a text-only ad and stating at the bottom that you do indeed have a pic and will gladly send it by email if the two of you "connect" will not do at all. This sends out a bad message, guys. It says many things: you're a closet case, you're in a relationship already, you're married to a woman or you're butt-ugly and know that no one will possibly answer your ad if you do post a pic with it.

Another thing, having several pics helps. Having that one glamour shot of yourself (circa 1989) isn't going to cut it in today's world. You should have at least two clear photos of yourself, a portrait and a snapshot of your whole body (no, not a nude...we'll get to take in a minute). Note to overweight guys, STOP sending out that one tightly-cropped portrait of your face only and saying that it the only photo you have online. You're not fooling anybody, we can tell you're fat from your chubby little cheeks.

Ahhh, nude photos... do you do it or not ? Well, it depends on what message you want your ad to give to the readers. I've seen perfect wonderful ads, the kind of ad that makes you want to want to register at Target with the guy, but...posted with the text of the ad is 10 different snapshots of his penis in every state of arousal known to mankind. So what do this say to me ? When people consider what photos to post with a personal ad, they dig through their hard drive for what they consider their best pics, pics that present them to the world in a positive light or pics that reflect their state of mind at the time they place the ad. So, this guy wanted everyone to know about his dick (what it looked like from every angle and how hard it could get) but didn't feel the need to post a face pic. This tells me despite the great text part of the ad, he's pretty much looking for a hook-up but at the same time wanted to present the image that he was a romantic.

I say, save the nude pics until you get to know someone a little bit better. But do have a pic of yourself that shows some skin. Even if it's just you in shorts and a tank. Skin is good, just don't show too much, too soon.

Okay, I'm stopping for now. Ya'll be good.

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