E-Hell

The other when checking my email on one of the popular gay hook-up sites, I found this email from a former co-worker, Garth. We had worked at the same design firm in the 90’s when I’d been attending the Art Institute. Garth was a big, handsome boy with a wide smile and always about to burst out of his tight pants. I was a bit smitten and he knew it, but he had a boyfriend.

The Email:

You wanna connect sometime soon? Garth, here.Kevin? You there? I remember working with you at__________.You’ve grown into a handsome man.I would to play dj for you soon.

Did I ever show you my pecker...LOL?? He plays well with others.


What to do? What to say? Here’s this man that I use to really, really want basically saying he wanted to get busy with me between the sheets, I was very put off by the fact that he couldn’t remember my name and called me, Kevin instead of Ken, but hey, they both do start with a K. The thing about him saying he wanted to play dj for me was due to the fact that we had very similar taste in music and had frequently talked about it. I have to admit that was a little shocked by the nude photos he enclosed with the email. After seeing them, I was quite pleased though, just as I had thought (many times), he had a huge cock. Not that I’m a size queen, ya’ll…


My Reply:


Hey Garth,
Good to hear from you, handsome. It has been a while, 10 years in fact since I left ________. God, that place was such a hot mess.No, you never showed me your pecker before, though I used to check out your package when you walked by my office .We should hook up sometime. I think we'd have fun. I'm off tomorrow & Wednesday.

Ken

Hey bitches, don’t judge me for offering to hook-up with Garth! A girl has “needs” ya know? Can I help it if I wanted me some dick? It ain’t like I got a husband in my bed every night throwing me some Oscar Mayer wiener.

His Reply:

Omg...I was so high when I wrote you...LOL...stoned stupor. I hope you were able to fill in the blanks.Yes, I think we would have fun.

So, this is what he said right before he signed off and disappeared. I don’t know how to take his reply. Was he saying that:

A. OMG…if he hadn’t been so fucked up that wasn’t any way in hell he would have emailed me?

B. Or was he saying that it took him getting totally fucked up to work up the nerve to email me?

C. Or was he just online, fucked up and high looking at hook-up ads and saw mine and went, "Oh, I know that dude, let me see if he wants to come over and fuck." ?

(the email was sent at 2:30 a.m.)

I vote for the last one, # C.


Anyway, big dick or not, he ain’t worth all that drama. Why is it that men with big dicks are always such assholes? I mean, for real... Looks like it’s just the tissues & my right hand tonight.


Ya’ll be good.