Thursday, April 1, 2010

Are We All Sluts or Just Normal ?

A conversation with a buddy from Manhunt.Net yesterday:

Dane- “I've just joined Gay.Com...everyone on here just wants sex...and I'm so over that!”

Me- “Exactly. No matter how I phrase my ad, I just get invitations to get fucked. Don't people go out on dates anymore? You know… talk, have something to eat, go to a movie, walk in the park. I swear yesterday I sat down and tried to figure out the last time I was kissed, hugged or somebody held my hand. I drew a big fat fuckin’ blank, Dane. It's been that long. People just want to FUCK and that's it. Don't get me wrong, I’m human, I’m a man, like to fuck too, but my God! I-want-something-more! Sorry, I went off like that. I guess you can tell that it’s a tender spot for me.”

Guys, next time you see a guy you like and start feeling yourself get happy south of the border:

*Ask me him to dinner instead of telling him you saw him eyeing your package.

*Ask him to a movie instead of sending him pics of your ass all splayed open.

*Ask him out for coffee instead of asking him to meet you at the local bathhouse in cubicle 25.

*If you’re a health queen, ask him to work out with you instead of offering him a free prostate “massage”.

*If you’re on a budget, ask him to meet you at the local park for a walk and no, not in that cruisy section of the park where the boys fuck in the bushes.

*Invite him on a picnic instead of inviting him over at night to “watch TV” for the first date and telling him that you’ll get up early and cook him one of your famous western omelets if he'll spend the night.

*Tell him you’re too chicken to try the new roller coaster at the local amusement park and ask him to go with you and hold your hand instead of grabbing his ass on the tiny patio at DIK and telling him you want to “tear that shit up.”

You might be surprised at the outcome if you go slow and treat the guy like he’s more than just a hot piece of meat. You also might find that you actually like him and want him around for more than just sexual reasons.

Ya, know ?

Back when I was a naughty, young queerling and tricking around a bit, I remember thinking often as I took my walk of shame that I wished I’d met the guy in some other fashion (and not some seedy, meat-market bar) and hadn’t slept with him right away. Because, guess what ? Some of them actually turned out to be nice and I wouldn’t have minded dating them. I always wished that one of them had stopped me while I was getting dressed and said, “Hey, you’re special. Don’t go. Crawl back in bed and stay.” But, they never did, no matter how much I willed it to happen. Most had a “don’t let the door hit you in the ass as you exit ” attitude. If you behave like a cheap slut, that’s exactly what guys will treat you like. I had to learn that the hard way. The old saying that straight people use about loose girls certainly does apply to gay men as well:

Men won’t buy the cow if they can get the milk for free.

Or, in gay speak:

Sexy male sluts are fun & hot but those aren’t the kind of queens that a 'mo ends up buying an English bulldog with.

Won’t somebody be my b/f so we can give Chancey a home?

The email with my buddy continues the next day:

Dane- “Yeah I know what you mean. I think it's important for me to remember that these guys on here aren't on the same journey as me and just because I decided to stop being a whore, they don't have to. LoL! I think the Internet has been amazing as far as technology, but I think it's also made it to where you really don't need to know anything about someone before having sex. Not that we didn't have those options before, but it's pretty much destroyed the idea of romance. LoL! That could just me being old, bitter and jaded though…”

Me- “Reagan Fox was talking about that on his podcast the other day. How even though Manhunt is bad, GrindR is much worst because it's basically a remote control for sex. Click, click, click, hit send and then a piece of ass will arrive at your house/park bench/clump of bushes shortly. LoL! It's that bad. Hey, how was your first day on Gay.Com? I'll bet you got all kind of replies, that first day, you usually get flooded with responses because you’re fresh meat...”

Well guys, I could go on and on about this subject but I need to wrap this shit up. Ya’ll be good and don’t be trickin’ unless you fuckin' mean it.

Be sure and listen to today’s naughty little audio clip. I read a dirty story from yesteryear:


John said...

Lmfao you laughing made it more funny than anything.

Mark Wilson said...

Lol sooo true. I think when 75% of guys go online its for a quickie. But there are a few who want something more. I found my bf at Man Central which I use cos its free lol. keep up the good work :D

Phunk Factor said...

U just spoke my heart out, man...i hate all these random hook up's a freakín turn-off!

I'm glad i'm dating a guy that actually shares the same view!! I consider myself so lucky!!

Cool blog! I'm following! :D