Somebody's Baking Brownies

I heard about this story on the Distorted View podcast while I was running the other day. The people at the track must have thought that I was smoking crack or something because I was laughing so hard I could barely stand upright.

Victim Says Flatulence Fetish Led to Sexual Assault

Posted: Apr 07, 2010 12:43 PM EDT

Updated: Apr 08, 2010 9:12 AM EDT

NEWS 9

OKLAHOMA CITY -- An Oklahoma City man says his fetish is what led to him being raped.

The man, identified as a 27-year-old who suffers from autism, said he has a fetish for flatulence, or farts. The victim told police he likes "the sound and smell of farts." He added he was lonely and just wanted to make friends. This led him online where he ended up exchanging phone numbers and text messages with another man, who the victim said is responsible for raping him. The victim said the two met on the Web site AIRG.com back in January.

According to the police report, the victim said the suspect, who's name police are withholding, sent him hundreds of explicit text messages. On February 27, the victim and the suspect met in person at the suspect's house. The victim said he thought he was going over to the suspect's house to "enjoy the suspect's farts."

Once inside, the victim said the suspect became physically violent at one time telling him "I will beat you up and take your car if your try to leave." At that time the victim said the suspect sexually assaulted him and forced him to leave, saying, "My mom is going to get up and go to work soon so you need to go."

The officer who took the report asked the victim why he met with the suspect after receiving the explicit text messages. The victim told the officer he, "thought they could just fart and be friends."

The victim added he did not report the incident earlier because he was embarrassed.

My favorite lines from this news report are :

*The victim said he thought he was going over to the suspect's house to "enjoy the suspect's farts."

When was the last time you heard someone say that ?

*The victim told the officer he, "thought they could just fart and be friends."

Maybe I'd have better luck with commitment-phobic guys if I suggested we just fart and be friends at first...

*The victim added he did not report the incident earlier because he was embarrassed.

Well, duh...