Sunday, September 12, 2010


 Yesterday when I was working at the front of the store, a gorgeous man, his wife and their three stair-stepped children entered the store. This husband was hot as a jalapeno pepper dipped in lava, his children were perfect little blond moppets but... his wife was mousy as hell and so damned crossed-eyed she surely couldn’t see further than the bridge of her nose. At a time like this you have to stop and wonder how this women got this man. I mean, she either has the tightest, juiciest cooter on planet Earth ever and gives him a BJ every morning before he goes to work (and swallows) or she blackmailed him, it's just that simply.

"What-the-fuck ? What-the-fuck ? What-the-fuck?"  I want to scream but I just smile politely and say hello.

I think sometimes in cases like this straight men must get lazy and marry a woman like this just for the steady supply of pussy, home-cooked meals and getting his laundry done in a timely manner. Am I being mean to say this? Probably, but you know it’s true.

This also brings another question to my mind:

If this woman can get a man, why can’t you?

I guess the answer to that would be that I probably could be in a relationship (many times over) if I weren’t so goddamn picky.


I hope you guys are having a good end of summer. It’s finally cooled down enough in North Carolina that I can sleep again. God, I do love this time of year!   We’re already getting our Christmas stuff in at the store and it’s barely past Labor Day. Speaking of Christmas, I hope Santa brings me a Nook (e-reader). Being as I am my own Santa Claus, I can guarantee you that Santa will be putting a Nook under my Christmas tree because I sure as Hell have been a good boy, well...mostly.

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