The oddest thing happened to me last night at work…
So, it was getting late in the evening and I'm puttering around the store cleaning up the stacks-n-stacks of books customers leave everywhere, when a good-looking, blond guy walks by me and nearly gives himself whiplash trying to scope me out as he passes by. I get kind of shy when guys are extremely aggressive about checking me out, so I quickly turned a corner where I’d be out of his line of view and stopped to straighten a messy shelf. Well, he came marching up my aisle…
He told me he was new in town and asked if I knew where Club Cabaret was. Club Cabaret is the local gay bar and this was his sly way of finding out if I was gay. I confirmed that I did indeed know where Club Cabaret was but if he was new in town he’d be better off taking a taxi over there because downtown is a confused mess of one-way streets and he’d never find it anyhow.
Now, here’s where it gets really weird…
He introduces himself, his name is Dane or Dare or Storm or something fake like that. He tells me that he finds me quite attractive and was originally checking me out because he liked my necklace (something I picked up at American Eagle 10 years ago). Then he tell me that he's a “working” boy and would I perhaps like to meet him after the store closes to partake of his “services”. Okay, I’ve been around the block a time or two but I swear I’ve never had a male prostitute come into my place of employment to solicit me. I felt a wave of disappointment that this attractive man wasn’t truly interested in me as a person and then felt a streak of outrage that he thought I looked like someone that was bad off enough to have to pay for sex. I told him, no and sorry, I wasn’t down with that at all. He started to walk away and then you know what the tramp had the nerve to turn around in mid-stride and ask me, ya’ll?
Would I please spot him the money for the cover charge to get into Club Cabaret? He’d pay me back the next day, he assured me. Right. I knew he just wanted to get to the club so he could solicit people there as well.
I nearly laughed in his face and told him I was just a poor, little shop-girl (a line from an old Joan Crawford film) and had no money at all. Once he found out he wasn’t getting any money from me, he was out the door like he’d been fired from a cannon.
Why do I attract people like this guy? Why can’t a nice gay guy scope me out at the store and then demand I go out for coffee or to dinner with him ? Does it always have to be something dirty? A friend once confided that he thought I had the "look" of a German gay pornstar. W…W…What? I look like someone that wears a PVC bodysuit and enjoys being pissed on and fisted? Good Lord! Damn. I only want to look like who I am, someone that enjoys lying in bed and eating a big bowl of Death-by-Chocolate ice cream while watching a Golden Girls marathon. Gay bliss.
3 comments:
Oh brother... be thankful he was such a creep you could spot him so easily. Often they can disguise themselves far better than that.
If I were there, I would scope on you every time. Then muster enough guts to ask you out for a date. On me. (too bad, we're miles away). #wwvd
"and then felt a streak of outrage that he thought I looked like someone that was bad off enough to have to pay for sex."
you are sooooo funny! Every time, every single time. you leave me in stitches.
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