Friday, June 24, 2011

Picture it...

Today I want to talk about something that's near and dear to my heart: fucked-up profile pics ! What follows below is real, actual photos that were posted with personal/hook-up ads.

Herbert models his new micro-thong

Okay, pops...just because you can still (barely) physically squeeze yourself into one of the latest offerings from International Male, doesn't mean you actually should ! This is an item only a buff, 22 year-old model would look good in. We know you were just trying to live-a-little and show people you still have an edge, but don't...please don't...

Cocky Driftwood

Yes, we know you have an artistic soul but spare us the pictures of your cock with weird props. We don't find your cock nearly as interesting as you do, dude.

Rawr !!! Look At My Guns !!! Power !!!

We can see that you have muscles, Gay Hulk. But if I were you, I'd be carefully about posting pics that make you look like you're trying to pass a really large and painful stool.

Randy Always Did Have A Piercing Gaze...

Okay, where was this poor guy's friends when he decided to post this picture ?  Two things are wrong here:

 *Bad hairpiece. Very dated hairpiece. I know, I know... people call them "systems" now, but come on, this is a major rug if I ever saw one.

*Red eyes. Guys, do not, I repeat, do not post pictures of yourself with red eyes unless you're into pretending that you're demon-possessed. Either invest in a camera that has the flash/flash red-eye prevention feature or get some decent photo editing software. Don't say you can't afford it or you don't know enough about computers to fix it with a photo editing program. There are some great free, easy photo programs over at:

Grrrrrr ! These Boots Are Made For Walking...

There's so much wrong going on with this pic that I barely know where to start. All I can say is this, how in the world can you post a pic like this and expect someone to see it and think, 'Gee, I have something in common with this guy. I think I  better dash off a reply to his personal ad, pronto ?

Ya'll behave yourself. I luv ya.


Mimi said...

hahahaha i only just read this cause i've been too scared to open it at work. Shame, the dude with the hairpiece. I actually couldn't tell until you said something, lol. It's not a total dealbreaker if he has a GOOD HEART. hihi

jamiessmiles said...

You had me laughing. Very cool blog.