Douche

The following is a direct quote I found in some guy’s Manhunt profile yesterday:

“ I carry a collapsible douche bottle in my back pocket at all times, because, well, you just never know when you are going to get fucked.”

Before I knew what was happening, I found my lip curled up in a disgusted sneer and couldn’t help but wonder at the guy’s highly sexualized lifestyle.

Then I remembered something. Step in my time machine and let’s set it for… say, twenty years ago. Follow twinkie Ken to work and take a peak in his black Ralph Lauren carrier bag when he’s not looking. See that little zippered shaving kit at the bottom? Open it. What do you see?

*Lube

*Condoms

*Binaca

*Collapsible douche bottle

So…

It’s funny how it had slipped my mind; I was that guy in the 1990’s. And you know what? That guy IS so right; you just never know when you might get fucked.