Saturday, February 23, 2013

Fetishes


Over the next month or two, I’m going to be  playing the devil’s advocate and poking fun at different sexual fetishes (so don’t get your panties in a twist, okay). I’m older than dirt and by this point I’ve pretty much heard of every fetish that’s out there, I think...

Though maybe not, a friend recently showed me a website where gentlemen could pay a very nominal fee to view sexy ladies in high heels stepping on gas pedals in cars and even on a tractors or misc. farm equipment for a slightly higher price. 

I guess there’s quite a few men out there that finds this hot... women mashing the gas pedal down and the roar of the car’s engine. What would you call someone like that, a *pedalholic or perhaps *pedaliac ?  Yikes ! Those words sound a little too close to something else, better not use those terms.

Okay, here we go...

1.Fisting (someone shoving a fist up another person’s vagina or butthole)

When a guy asks me if I’m into fisting, I always say, “Sure, but only as a top ” This always shuts them up real quick, I mean, for real... do I strike you as a fisting bottom ? Honestly, fisting scares me. I have to think that it’s somewhat dangerous, I mean, you’ve got someone’s hand up in your guts. Yikes, right ? Plus, wouldn’t  fisting would make your butthole/cootie all floppy and at some point a dick wouldn’t do you any good, right ? I remember the first time I saw the initials FF in a gay hook-up ad in pink pages of the Advocate in the 1980's and thinking long and hard, I decided it stood for Face-Farting. And hadn't my gay cousin, Holland told me that there were some gay folks that were into some mighty weird and particular things that involved the butt ? Speaking of farting on other people...

2.Scat (pooping on other people, eating poop, watching people poop or playing with poop)

The first time I heard of scat I thought it had to be some great big colossal joke that was being played on me. I mean...really...people that get boners for poop ? No freakin’ way !  I once knew a transsexual prostitute that got paid major bucks catering to people that were into Hot Plates (squatting over a glass coffee table and taking a poo while someone lies underneath and looks up through the glass, usually pleasuring themselves at the same time).

***
After writing this, I was informed that these people call themselves "Pedal Pumpers". 

No comments: