Saturday, February 23, 2013


Over the next month or two, I’m going to be  playing the devil’s advocate and poking fun at different sexual fetishes (so don’t get your panties in a twist, okay). I’m older than dirt and by this point I’ve pretty much heard of every fetish that’s out there, I think...

Though maybe not, a friend recently showed me a website where gentlemen could pay a very nominal fee to view sexy ladies in high heels stepping on gas pedals in cars and even on a tractors or misc. farm equipment for a slightly higher price. 

I guess there’s quite a few men out there that finds this hot... women mashing the gas pedal down and the roar of the car’s engine. What would you call someone like that, a *pedalholic or perhaps *pedaliac ?  Yikes ! Those words sound a little too close to something else, better not use those terms.

Okay, here we go...

1.Fisting (someone shoving a fist up another person’s vagina or butthole)

When a guy asks me if I’m into fisting, I always say, “Sure, but only as a top ” This always shuts them up real quick, I mean, for real... do I strike you as a fisting bottom ? Honestly, fisting scares me. I have to think that it’s somewhat dangerous, I mean, you’ve got someone’s hand up in your guts. Yikes, right ? Plus, wouldn’t  fisting would make your butthole/cootie all floppy and at some point a dick wouldn’t do you any good, right ? I remember the first time I saw the initials FF in a gay hook-up ad in pink pages of the Advocate in the 1980's and thinking long and hard, I decided it stood for Face-Farting. And hadn't my gay cousin, Holland told me that there were some gay folks that were into some mighty weird and particular things that involved the butt ? Speaking of farting on other people...

2.Scat (pooping on other people, eating poop, watching people poop or playing with poop)

The first time I heard of scat I thought it had to be some great big colossal joke that was being played on me. I mean...really...people that get boners for poop ? No freakin’ way !  I once knew a transsexual prostitute that got paid major bucks catering to people that were into Hot Plates (squatting over a glass coffee table and taking a poo while someone lies underneath and looks up through the glass, usually pleasuring themselves at the same time).

After writing this, I was informed that these people call themselves "Pedal Pumpers". 

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