This past Winter, Spring and Summer has been difficult for me. I haven’t written in ages because, well...I’ve felt so empty and blank with no words to spare. As I mentioned in one of my last posts, I started seeing a new psychiatrist after some months of increasingly odd, manic behavior and found out that I was indeed ‘quite’ Bipolar and so began the process of trying out different psych meds (until I found one or 2 that would treat my particular brand of madness).
The goal is to find a psych medicine that treats your craziness without:
...keeping you awake all night
...giving you heart palpitations
...giving you diarrhea or making you severely constipated
...making you so mind-numbingly tired you can barely move
...making your skin crawl
...strong sexual side effects
...making you twitch
...making you gain weight
One of the more interesting (if I might call it that) side-effects that my daily dosage of Citalopram and Seroquel has caused is the loss of sex drive. I feel like I should be bothered by it but I’m not. It’s kind of freeing to not be a slave to my hormones anymore. Thank goodness, I’m single...this new, sexless Ken would be a boring boyfriend and...well...a fatter boyfriend, I’ve gained 25 pounds
It’s taken time but I think I’ve finally settled into my proper meds and proper dosage. Daily, I won’t kid you, it’s not easy and I still struggle with side effects from my meds but I’m starting to feel more like myself again. My desire to write has come back and for that I'm grateful.