Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Grease Relief

Ever been doing something and have one of those, what the fuck am I doing moments right there in the middle of it? That happened to me today when I was trying to shovel another greasy onion ring in my mouth at Sonic. Let me say, I eat there very often. Hell, I’m on a first name basis with the cute roller-skating teenagers that bring me that horrible food. As best as I can figure, I go to Sonic because I’m just plain lazy and I want to be alone with my thoughts. I mean, it doesn’t get any better, you pull up, roll down the window and order your food, 10 minutes later a perky teenager delivers it. EASY! See what I mean about being lazy? After you get your food, roll the window back up and it’s so quiet, blessedly. No screaming babies, no idiots screaming in their cell and no construction workers talking about pussy at the table beside you. So, now I’m not only lazy, but a hermit too. Hey, I admit it. When you work with the public for a living, you do want to get away from it and have your peace when you’re not on the clock.

The food is not good. Some of the sandwiches are fair. The plain hamburger is about the best thing I’ve tasted there yet. The fries are undercooked and blah. They come out to you as fat, white, mealy grub-worms. Is it just me, but fries are supposed to be golden & crisp, right? The onion rings are a mess. These are left in the oil too long until all the coating is practically cooked off and the onion rings have soaked up an inordinate amount of grease. Instead of putting the onion rings on one of those grate things to let them drain and drip for a moment, they’re placed immediately in a paper sleeve and brought out to you. When you open the sleeve you're greeted with something that looks like a big, greasy onion tumor in front of you. Not a pretty sight indeed. Be very careful about laying that mess out on your lap. Even though I placed the onion rings on the paper bag the order came out in, it still soaked through and ruined a pair of dress slacks. I know there are many people out there that think the world of Sonic, so forgive me if I stepped on your toes, okay. I know, Wendy's is just down the road but I can't work up the courage to fight all the senior citizens bitching because they forgot to put lettuce & tomato on their 99 cent junior bacon cheeseburger.

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