Saturday, I shit my pants.
Yes, I admit it. I own it. It was awful.
Let me preface this by saying that this has never happened to me before. So, I was quite taken by surprise and more than a little puzzled when it happened to me Saturday.
I went into that bathroom at work to take a pee. I unzipped and maybe “pushed” just a little (too much) to get the stream going and before you know it, this volcano of diarrhea came shooting out of my butt. I’m like, “What da fuck!” and start quickly jerking my pants down to avoid getting the doo-doo all over the place. It’s a good thing I was in a stall and not just standing at the urinal, right? I cleaned up best I could and threw my underwear away. There was still just the tiniest stain in the seat of my pants, so I stealthily snuck out the side door at work and called my boss from my cell. I told him I’d thrown-up on myself (how in the world do you tell you’re boss that you've just shit yourself?) and was going home for the day. Luckily, he was in in good mood and didn't question me further.
After a conversion with my doctor Monday morning, he pointed out that the new liquid antibiotic that he prescribed for me was known to cause chronic diarrhea. I’m here to warn you, if your doctor prescribes Mepron, you might want to buy some Depends. I asked if I couldn’t please go off it, but because of the possibility of me getting PCP, I have to stay on it until my cd4 rises.
You just never know what I’m going to write about, do you ? Ya’ll be good and don’t poop in your pants.