Tuesday, August 30, 2011

A Slip Of The Tongue

Last week a longtime friend of mine got really miffed at me and started to curse me out because I wasn’t able to drop him off at the airport.

The first epitaph out of his mouth was “AIDS boy”.

Folks, I’ve mentioned it here before and I make no secret about it. I’m HIV positive. It is what it is and life goes on.

But to have a friend throw that up first to hurt me and wound me leaves me speechless. I just couldn’t believe it.  This guy has known me for ages and has intimate knowledge of all the struggles I’ve had with my health over the years.

Since “AIDS boy” came out of his mouth first, this tells me how I’m labeled in his mind. He’s since called, crying and asking me to forgive him but I just can’t seem to really manage it.

He showed me his true colors and his soul. I know that we all say things we regret when we’re angry but to go there was unforgivable. If you find yourself that angry and feel like you're going to start slinging insults and nasty names that can't be retracted, you need to have enough sense to walk away and calm down.

To all of my gay readers: a straight friend becomes angry with you and calls you a "stupid fag" or "lesbo". Easy to forgive or not?

To my African-American readers: a white friend gets mad at you and quickly calls you the "n-word". Could you easily go back to being their friend?

To my straight readers: your gay BFF gets pissed off at you and calls you a "dumb breeder" or "clueless hetro". Do you overlook it ?

I feel that I can forgive this person in time but I’ll never be able to fully trust him again and... I’ll undoubtedly keep him at an arm’s length.


Mimi said...

Wow. I am not as forgiving as you are. I don't think I could get over this.

Also, how old is this man? Who DOES that?

Adventures In Gay Dating said...

This was a 34 year old guy, Mimi.

jamiessmiles said...

Wow, that is fucked up. Forgiveness, Hells no. And you are right, if he has the label on you, what kind of a friend is he? What a dick.

Mind Of Mine said...

If you two were having a very heated and personal argument and it came out during a near violent rage, then maybe I could understand and forgive it, but it was because you wouldn't give him a ride to the airport...the fact that he would use it as a way to hurt you over something to trivial is unforgivable.

geoffrey said...

It's tough because you're so hurt. I can relate. My ignorant sister spits out the 'fag' word when she wants a verbal spat. Even my mom who I love dearly and have taken care of for years has thrown out the gay card as an insult now and then. I've struggled with it too, and I just can't seem to forgive either of them.

HIV/AIDS or no.......hate and prejudice simply are what they are.