You’re probably rolling your eyes about right now and wondering what-in-hellfire-tarnation a big, ol’ fairy like me knows about heterosexual porn, right? I don’t blame you; I’d be wondering the same thing.
Let me explain something…
I saw my first porn film when I was 12. When I say film, I mean film, not a video. It was a John Holmes film called Liquid Lips. I remember wondering why all those women were so crazy about him because I thought he was butt-ugly even though he did have a huge dick. You know if that man hadn't had such a big dick, people wouldn't have looked twice at him. I say, BIG-FAT-HAIRY-DEAL ! Dick size doesn’t mean a thing to me if the guy's face could stop a freight train.
In the little southern town I grew up in there was a rundown, old drive-in called The Roseland that had fallen on hard times and started showing porn the last five years of it’s miserable existence just to break even. My brother had just got his driving license and would take me with him on his Sunday night (while the parents were in church) ventures to The Roseland. After about an hour, my brother would make me sit in the back seat so he sit up front alone and jack off to the sexy shenanigans on the screen. True, I was only 12 at the time but the man that owned the place couldn’t have cared less as long as we had the entrance fee which was $5 a car. I couldn’t tell you this man’s name to save my life, but what I remember most about him was that he didn’t have lips. It was said that many years before his German Shepherd and ran out in the middle of traffic and got hit by a car. Luckily, the dog was still alive, so the man ran out in the road to remove his dog. The dog, crazed by pain, went crazy and bit the man’s lips off when he reached down to scoop his dog up. So, there he was lipless and running a porn drive-in that let minors in, go figure.
In the little southern town I grew up in there was a rundown, old drive-in called The Roseland that had fallen on hard times and started showing porn the last five years of it’s miserable existence just to break even. My brother had just got his driving license and would take me with him on his Sunday night (while the parents were in church) ventures to The Roseland. After about an hour, my brother would make me sit in the back seat so he sit up front alone and jack off to the sexy shenanigans on the screen. True, I was only 12 at the time but the man that owned the place couldn’t have cared less as long as we had the entrance fee which was $5 a car. I couldn’t tell you this man’s name to save my life, but what I remember most about him was that he didn’t have lips. It was said that many years before his German Shepherd and ran out in the middle of traffic and got hit by a car. Luckily, the dog was still alive, so the man ran out in the road to remove his dog. The dog, crazed by pain, went crazy and bit the man’s lips off when he reached down to scoop his dog up. So, there he was lipless and running a porn drive-in that let minors in, go figure.
Present Day…
Will, one of my very best friends from college is straight. I mean, this man lives and breathes PUSSY. You’d never think in a million years that we’d be friends, but we are. Will gets a perverse kick out of my take on the porn clips he’s forever downloading to his laptop.
That’s the main reason I’m writing this, guys.
What the hell has happened to straight porn? It seems that now it’s all about degrading women and being…mean and evil. The women are slapped, choked, spit on, gagged, have their hair pulled, called filthy names and used as nothing more than a contemptible receptacle for sperm. Do most straight men hate women deep down inside and crave this dark porn ? It seems that once upon a time, some straight porn attempted to glorify and celebrate women. The males made love to the women instead of legally raping them on film. I’ve since made Will stop showing me his porn clips because they haunt me too much and it’s impossible to come up with the funny, campy remarks anymore. I often tear up thinking of those poor girls and the bad place they must be in their life to allow some man to treat them like that and I know that many of them are addicted to drugs.
I’m aware that no one is “forcing” these girls to do the films.
They usually get paid (quite well).
And…
Perhaps some of them get off on that kind of treatment.
But, isn’t it sad that “normal” sex doesn’t do the trick anymore and that we have to resort to such dark, ugly, hateful acts just to get our rocks off? What does that say about current society? Dominating, degrading and humiliating others is the only thing left that makes our dick hard ?
And gay guys, let’s not get too cocky. Our porn has gotten dark too and yes, I almost always end up feeling sorry for the bottom in most films, particularly if they’re having unsafe sex. I want to shake them and say, "Why are you doing this ? Don't you love yourself ? Don't you care ?" Ever notice that very few bottoms look like they’re enjoying the act?
Oh yes, this dark attitude definitely exists in the gay community. One night over drinks, my roommate in DC confided to me that sex to him was first and foremost about having power over another person, bending them to his will and punishing them for being weak, not so much about the actual sex. That scared me and opened my eyes to just what kind of person I was living with.
Oh yes, this dark attitude definitely exists in the gay community. One night over drinks, my roommate in DC confided to me that sex to him was first and foremost about having power over another person, bending them to his will and punishing them for being weak, not so much about the actual sex. That scared me and opened my eyes to just what kind of person I was living with.
There has to be a middle ground somewhere in porn.
How do you get hot, steamy porn that isn’t wimpy?
How to make decent porn that instantly makes you horny but doesn’t involve: hair pulling, spitting, slapping, fisting, pissing, choking, name-calling, cruelty, hitting, humiliation and scat?
I love you guys. Be good. Put that remote down. I see you reaching for the dirty movie! Ohhh Lord, put that bottle of lotion down! You heard me. Now! Not your dirty socks! Eww, gross. Use a wet wipe. Whatever. Don’t listen. Perv.
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